The Samuel L. Jackson write-in campaign
The Samuel L. Jackson write-in campaign
In the post-Sept. 11 landscape, any presidential candidate with experience handling major in-flight emergencies would enjoy a distinct advantage at the polls. If Republicans do the smart thing and nominate Rudy Giuliani to be their candidate, the only man who can stand next to Giuliani and make him seem drearier than John 'Senator from Sleepy Hollow' Kerry is - you guessed it - Samuel L. Jackson. ... President Samuel L. Jackson, on the other motherf*ckin hand, would have gone on the air on Sept. 12, and would have looked right into that camera and said, "Though I walk in the valley of darkness, I fear no evil." And bin Laden would have had exactly 24 hours to turn his ass over to some European country that doesn't allow the death penalty so as to prevent U.S. President Samuel L. Jackson from opening a serious can of whoop-ass on that turbaned motherf*cker. ... That's why the first step on the road toward making America a great nation once again is writing in Samuel L. Jackson as a candidate for Congress in Rhode Island. In receiving some needed political experience, he would silence his opponents who might have claimed a political novice shouldn't hold the most important office in the world.
Obviously, this column has no grasp of residency requirements. But the concept is a good one.